Grass Routes — road stories from ACT Issue 16

The complete 2018 column preserves its eleven short items about trucks, industry news and life on the road. News, legal commentary, advertisements and dates reflect the original reporting in 2018.

Original ACT Grass Routes column, Issue 16 (2018). No individual writer or image credit is identified in the retained column.

BACK AGAIN

GUESS who is back, back again…It seems Jon Kelly is back so tell a friend! Jon has been spotted doing the truck show circuit in South East Queensland and Northern New South Wales with his show stopping beauties.

He is building up a fleet and is selling trucks on the side. He has done a few trucks up and even bought himself a few brand new Kenworths.

No doubt we’ll have some of those trucks in future issues of Australian Custom Trucks. He has definitely got a vision and pushes the limits, especially when it comes to customising trucks.

CASUAL OR NOT CASUAL?

THE Federal Court ruled a casual truck driver should get annual leave because he was treated like a full-time staffer. The ruling on the Rio Tinto driver’s circumstances has implications for all casual staff in ‘a regular and continuous pattern of work’ akin to full time. Unions and employer groups call it the end of the so-called ‘permanent casual’ staff member who does not receive annual leave and sick pay. Wonder if he will have to pay back the extra loading he has been paid to cover sick days and annual leave?

REASON TO DRINK

FROM Monday 13 August, $1 from each carton of Iron Jack sold in New South Wales, Queensland and South Australia will be donated to Rural Aid, and 50 cents from each schooner of Iron Jack sold at selected regional venues will be donated to local relief efforts led by the charity. The ‘Beers for the Bush’ campaign will raise at least $1 million.

OYSTERS WITH A DIFFERENCE

THERE is an outback establishment popular with truckies where the host has a reputation for providing delicious nibbly food for patrons.

She brought out a tray of crumbed food which a group of off duty truckies swiftly made short work of.

One asked the host, “These are delicious, what are they, crumbed chicken or pork?”

You could have heard a pin drop when the answer came, “No these are Prairie Oysters”.

Several of the lads bolted outside and one looked like he was trying to vomit.

And the reason is that Prairie Oysters are calves’ testicles which are removed by ringers on properties so the stock fattens up.

The establishment got them from a nearby property.

Often also called Mountain Oysters these “nuts” are regarded as delicacies in the outback.

ROAD WORKS DILEMMA

JUST about every truckie in Australia whinges about holdups that roadworks cause.

The Midlands Highway in Tasmania between Launceston and Hobart is a prime example.

Upgrades to the 190km stretch of the route which is also known as the Heritage Highway have been going on for several years.

“I travel the highway regularly and it takes around 30 minutes to an hour extra time along it because of the work,” one driver told Grassroots.

And the Midlands has been rated as one of the 10 most dangerous highways in Australia.

So the Tasmanian truckies Grassroots has spoken to have no doubt the time taken to complete the job will ensure a safer road. So it will be well worth it.

A BET YOU CAN’T COLLECT

TWO big truckies who are mates were yarning at a roadhouse parking area and were overheard with this little ripper.

One wanted to place a $50 bet with his mate about who would be the first one to die given they were both overweight and had high blood pressure.

“That is a silly bet because if you die before me how can I collect the 50 Oxford Scholars,” the other replied with a laugh.

BACK ON THE MARKET

WE all know Thorpe Custom Trucks have made some of the most notable custom trucks in the country. I am not even going to enter the debate of which customiser makes the best trucks, everyone has their own style and uniqueness. The Kenworth known as the Joker with the cool graphics rocked the circuit when it came on the scene.

It was recently sold by the Thorpes and it looks like it is back on the market by the new owners, or at least it was at the time of printing.

If you want a piece of trucking history…This may be the purchase for you.

SALVO AND BOOZE

THE wife of a well known road transport identity is also a dedicated member of her local Salvation Army congregation.

The Salvos as they are known do wonderful work in communities but as we all know are against people drinking alcohol.

Anyway her hubby was sick and a neighbour offered to whipper snip their yard when the edges were growing after rain.

Being somebody who likes to give, this gentle lady asked a family member of the whipper snipping Good Samaritan what small gift she could buy him as a thank you.

“A six pack of rum and coke cans would be great,” was the reply.

So she was coming home from a church service with Salvation Army screen printed all over the shirt she was wearing.

Rather than risk somebody at a bottle shop seeing a Salvo buying booze, she parked nearby and changed her top.

Then she purchased the rum and passed it onto the man.

“I didn’t want you to buy me anything for the whipper snipping but God Bless you,” he quipped.

“AMEN” is what Grassroots said when hearing this.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE NO BARRIER

SEVERAL truckies having a good old chin wag at the parking in the NT when some backpackers pulled up next to them in a campervan.

It was soon discovered they were from France as they spoke loudly in their own lingo.

But some of their remarks were insults at the expense of the truckies including about their weight.

Obviously they thought the drivers wouldn’t understand.

However, one of the truckies could speak fluent French after taking it as a subject at school.

He soon told the tourists that he interpreted every word they said.

To their credit they apologised and then beat a hasty retreat up the road.

PHOBIA DOESN’T ROCK

THERE is a truckie with a green frog phobia who hates travelling along the winding Gillies Highway in north Queensland.

Because as you come around one bend there is a painting of a huge frog on a rock.

“I get the creeps every time I see that frog and luckily I only get up the Gillies a couple of times a month,” he told Grassroots.

He reckons the phobia started when he was a young lad and a relative threw a frog at him.

This normally okker Aussie knows the little green fellas won’t harm you but can’t rid himself of the phobia.

At the time of going to print he was intending to have some hypnotherapy to try and solve the problem.

HOT FISH

THERE is a WA truckie who fancies himself as a cook of some note and there is nothing more he enjoys than having some road transport mates over so they can sample his culinary delights.

Usually they have an amber fluid or 10 and stoke up the Weber barbecue and yarn about everything involving trucks and the industry. However, on one occasion, a mate who enjoys fishing was lucky enough to land some from a nearby river and brought over the fillets.

Our self confessed chef boldly said he had some coating and spices to place on the fish that would tantalize their taste buds.

As the fish cooked the aroma made their mouths water and he explained that he had placed sesame seeds, a coating mix, lemon/pepper and red paprika on the fillets.

It didn’t take long for the fish to be served up and from all accounts it was delicious.

But there was one problem. It burnt the hell out of their mouths and every sip on their beer made it even worse. Soon the connoisseur of fine foods discovered why. He had mistaken the paprika for red cayenne pepper!

Rear Vision: where are they now?

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